Mother’s Day… what a day for celebrating life. So proud of Mommy Shien and all that she’s done for us and for the wonderful woman that she is. Malachy and I are so super lucky, indeed! As always, missing my mom and knowing how much she loved our family. When you’re a parent you realize even more about your parents’ sacrifices and their love for their children…
It’s one of those vivid ingrained memories in my head… learning how to ride the bicycle. I remember it being a big deal the day the training wheels finally came off! I don’t know how accurate my memory is, but I remember I was five and my cousin, Karmin (thanks, Karmin!) held on to my bicycle as he helped to teach me how to ride. First, he held on to the handlebar on the side, as I went up and down the block in front of our apartment building in Brooklyn. Eventually, he started holding on to the back seat of my bicycle, where he was out of my peripheral view. I remember that really well, because at one point I thought he was holding on to my bicycle, and when I looked back, he was halfway up the block! I was so shocked that I did it on my own that I went crashing onto the ground. The thrill, and then the agony…
I learned to look forward and to trust myself. I learned that fear and dwelling on the past (looking back) prevented me from enjoying the ride and looking forward. I learned that life is sometimes about learning how to fall. I remember using this story of learning how to ride the bicycle in my college essay to Columbia almost 25 years ago!
35 years after learning how to ride the bicycle, here I am trying to teach Malachy how to ride! Amazing! Wondering how (or if) he’ll remember these days. I know my back will never forget these past 3 days! 
It’s such a rush for him, though. I thought by day 3, he wouldn’t want to go back outside and try again (at least not 3 days in a row), and I know I wouldn’t have minded if he had said, “Nah, I’m not in the mood, today. Let’s take a break, Dad.” But instead he said, “Dad, I really like it! I want to try to ride by myself again!” Love his attitude!
So, there we were again today. Me yelling at him and telling him to focus and to concentrate, to balance, to stop leaning and turning and singing and cracking up. I know we both cracked up when he was able to ride for a few split seconds on his own. The thrill of getting it. It really IS cool. You don’t remember when you learn how to walk, but you can remember learning how to ride a bicycle. It’s a bit different nowadays. I didn’t have a helmet. And I remember falling over a lot harder and getting scraped and bruised. I get so tempted to just let Malachy go, but I don’t want him to fall down so hard that he’ll get too scared to try again. So, I hold on…
Eventually, I know he’ll get it, and I’ll feel proud that he learned and happy in being there with him!
Ever since our family went to the Brain Exhibit that was at the American Museum of Natural History, our whole family has been fascinated with the Brain. I even took an evening course called, The Wired Child back in the Fall at the Museum (where I was literally surrounded by stand-alone brains!). Recently, my Adult Development course got me right back into the brain and its plasticity, with some great readings, lectures, and conversations.
What amazes me the most is how much of an impact our environment has over our brains. It’s Nature vs. Nurture, and I think I used to be more like, “Well, you’ve got what you’ve got (in terms of your brain), and you can only do so much.” Now, I realize there is a WHOLE lot we can do to train and develop our brains and our children’s brain. It’s as much what we actively do or don’t do day-to-day that greatly affects our brains. And thus, Brainology!
I first learned about Brainology from an online Mind/Shift article titled, Discovering How to Learn Smarter by Annie Murphy Paul. Brainology is a program developed by Stanford psychologist and author of Mindset, Dr. Carol Dweck. It helps students develop a growth mindset, as opposed to having a fixed mindset. When I learned it was for middle school and high school students, I was a bit bummed out, because I wanted to get Malachy in on it right away. Lo and behold, someone from Brainology saw my blog (after an e-mail inquiry), and said Malachy might be a great candidate for a Brainology pilot! (Thanks so much, Cole!) How awesome is that?
So, now it feels like Malachy and I are taking a Brain Course together! (Thanks, Brainology!) He already wants to sit and go through all the levels in one sitting, but I told him that we need time to let things sink in (especially for me). The program is awesome because it offers a combination of multimedia videos, an e-journal for recording thoughts, an online Brain book, and other online tools that make it fun and easy to learn about the brain. I’m able to sit with him and type some of his responses in. He could type the responses, but he usually wants to get right back to the watching and learning. For me, it’s great to see how much he has learned so far, and we could have some conversations if something needs further explanation. So far, so great!
Here are some of Malachy’s thoughts on The Brain, after the Intro. and Level 1…
When you learn new things, your brain gets smarter and stronger.
When you touch things or do anything with your body, your brain detects it.
When you don’t have enough sleep, then you can’t think very well.
When you’re doing your homework, you shouldn’t do anything else, like watching cartoons or eat lunch or listening to your CDs.
When you’re reading, you can do writing or drawing to help you learn.
UPDATE: We have a winner! Congratulations, Wynne! Thanks so much to everyone for entering. Happy Valentine’s to all!
So, 1-800-Flowers.com reached out to me to offer my readers a chance to win a $100 1-800-Flowers gift card! AWESOME! Click here for a fun Valentine’s trailer they sponsored for Hot in Cleveland, starring Betty White.
Over the years, I’ve spent thousands on flowers. Worth it? As Malachy would say, “OF COURSE, DAD!” It’s cool that he’s growing up knowing that romance is alive and well. With Shien’s birthday and Valentine’s within a week’s span, we get to splurge on Mommy with flowers and jewelry!
According to a survey conducted by Wakefield Research for 1-800-FLOWERS.COM, they found that 62% of girlfriends and wives reported to be unsatisfied with last year’s Valentine’s Day gifts. I love getting my wife technology gifts, but I’ve learned that if I’m going to give some practical tech gifts, I better accompany it with some flowers, jewelry, or something sweet. With electronics, she’ll usually say, I don’t really need that. The one electronic gift that she has enjoyed the most and used the most is her Kindle. I think for many guys (and some girls, too) flowers seem like a waste of money, because they don’t last. But, there’s something about nature’s beauty, and flowers really do brighten up any room and brings some romance, love, or appreciation, back into the relationship. Plus, the University of South Brittany study found that women are 30% more likely to accept an admirer’s advances when flowers are involved. There’s definitely a Flower Effect to many relationships. Surprises are good!
Romance is definitely NOT about being practical. I wrote a little more about it on Prime Parents Club’s site. It’s about appreciating beauty and equating your loved one with that beauty. Your loved one deserves to be spoiled, right? 
HOW TO WIN: First, check out 1-800-Flowers.com’s Facebook page, by clicking here, and check out their new products, along with their Platinum Collection. You could order straight from their Facebook page! Then come back to this page, and leave a comment about what products you liked, and how you’ll spoil your loved one this Valentine’s! I will select a winner on Sunday, February 12th, at around 12PM EST, using the random number generator (Each commenter is assigned one number). I will then forward the winner’s information (I’ll e-mail you) to 1-800-Flowers.com, and they will get you your $100 gift card. That’s it. Cool, eh?
Good luck, everyone!
After my first classes yesterday, I was inspired to do another Malachy interview. In my Adult Development class, we had some great discussions, and one of the questions that was posed was what we thought it was like being an adult, when we were growing up. I immediately started wondering what Malachy thought of adulthood and how he viewed childhood versus adulthood. The great thing about asking him questions is never knowing what he’ll come up with. I think I could have kept going (but we were already at 9 minutes!), as he started introducing topics like marriage and money, but we can save that for another day…